Animal Writings

This has nothing to do with anything, but on the side of my Cheerios box is a picture of some cute children, and right next to the picture is the headline, "Who Are You Eating Them For?" That just seems like a strange juxtaposition.

The cicadas' song is fading. Two weeks ago, the "class of 2004" was awhirl with youthful energy: flying, buzzing, climbing, mating, and playing pranks. Now its numbers have dwindled considerably; the remaining members are old-timers who have trouble walking.

I saw one in the garden this morning; he was trying to move his legs, but without much success. He'll probably die not far from where I spotted him. He did manage to produce a couple of weak chirps, though. I took that to mean "see you next time...."

Yes. Here's how:

1. Animals have intrinsic worth. God created them, declared them Good, and made a covenant with them. Animals are part of God's Creation, deserving of our utmost respect. They cannot be viewed as mere resources.


2. We are called upon repeatedly to be merciful. Animals benefit from human kindness and suffer from human tryanny. The merciful path is the one that, within our ability, minimizes their suffering and promotes their peace and contentment.


3. Being of the same Source as the animals is a basis for sympathy. Sympathy is what compels us to help an injured bird, oppose fur farms, and boycott circuses that mistreat elephants.


4. God exercises His power by being loving, kind, and forgiving. Since we are created in God's image, we are obligated to act in the same manner. We have many opportunities to do so in our direct encounters with animals, and in our daily decisons that affect animals.

The Austrian Government just made life better for millions of animals. New legislation, which passed by a wide margin, outlaws multiple forms of cruelty, including use of wild animals in circuses, confining chickens to small cages, and amputating dogs' ears or tails for cosmetic reasons.

Veterinarian and cabinet member Herbert Haupt had been pushing for the regulations since the mid-1980s. According to the Associated Press, "Chancellor Wolfgang Schuessel hailed the law as a 'pioneering example' for the world on how to respect animals, and said he would press for similar legislation across the European Union."

Europe was already far ahead of the United States in terms of animal welfare; now the gap is embarrassingly wide. One formidable roadblock to improved protections for animals in the U.S. is the revolving-door relationship between the Department of Agriculture and the industries the agency is supposed to regulate.

Here's a full article on this most welcome development from overseas. Let's hope that in our own country, similar freedoms can be extended to animals in the near future.

This is Fiona. She was found on the side of a highway last summer, probably someone's abandoned "Easter bunny." She loves to crawl all over you, toss toys over the side of the bed, and help with email. She's currently in a good foster home, but is looking for a permanent family. Indoors only. For more information, visit the Friends of Rabbits adoption page.

Fact: in fiscal year 2002, the U.S. government funded over 600 projects that forced addictive drugs such as heroin on animals. Nearly 300 studies looked at the effects of cocaine in rats.

Fact: the U.S. infant mortality rate is the worst among highly developed nations. Even when differences in reporting are interpreted in the most favorable way, we lag behind.

Connection: in other economically advanced countries, instead of turning rodents into cocaine addicts, governments provide low-cost prenatal care.

We know all too well the effects of drug use during pregnancy. There's no sense in trying to re-prove it with laboratory animals that act differently than we do. Our mandates at this point should be warning pregnant women about the dangers of maternal drug use, and making sure they have access to treatment and counseling if they have a drug problem.

It's an indictment of our federal health research priorities that while drug rehab clinics are closing and 30 percent of poor Americans have no health insurance, we're squandering money on hundreds of nearly identical rat studies that have no practical value. Note that the data from these crude exercises is almost universally ignored by physicians. If nothing else, 600 clinical trials would have offered enormous opportunities for education and intervention.

Next time you hear about a charity or government agency conducting research "to find a cure," be skeptical. Animal studies dominate because they're easier to get funded, not because of their scientific value.

Cancer and birth defects are two examples of areas where animal experiments are highly touted but are in fact superfluous. We cured cancer in the mouse, but mice react differently than humans to both carcinogens and anti-tumor medications. Their cancers aren't the same as ours, either; breast cancer in a mouse is not breast cancer in a human. We test substances on a variety of non-human species to see if they cause birth defects. Each species reacts uniquely. Nearly every substance produces birth defects in some species but not in others. Responses may even be specific to a particular gender or strain. The tests are incapable of determining levels of danger to humans.

You may be unwittingly supporting the multi-billion dollar animal study habit when you donate to charities. Many health-related non-profit groups fund animal experiments. Perhaps they believe the hype, have financial relationships with companies doing the studies, or are simply taking the path of least resistance. You can positively influence the direction of medical research by asking charities how they spend their money. If it's wasted on rodent studies, look elsewhere.

www.humaneseal.org is one of several web sites that list charites that use their resources for human-focused research, patient services, and education, not animal experiments. If you want to make sure that your contributions are used to help humans instead of harm animals, select from among the charities on these lists. For example, prefer the Arthritis Research Institute of America over the Arthritis Foundation; Birth Defect Research for Children over the March of Dimes; the American Breast Cancer Foundation over the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation; the International Eye Foundation over Research to Prevent Blindness. Local charities are also a good bet; the money usually goes right to those who need it.

Sources:

Animal experimentation numbers are from The Animal Experimentation Scandal, published by Stop Animal Exploitation Now. The raw data is ultimately from The National Institutes of Health's CRISP database.

Infant mortality rates are from http://www.undp.org/hdr2003/indicator/indic_289.html, which used data from the World Health Organization.

Some veterinarians contend that foie gras, a high-priced pate made from duck liver, is produced humanely. I don't buy it. Anyone who can say, with a straight face, that it's humane to shove a long tube down an animal's throat and force it to gorge until its liver nearly bursts is either blind or lying. I'm sure these folks wouldn't think it humane if someone did those things to them.

Fortunately, more enlightened veterinarians are revolted by the cruelty inherent in foie gras production, and are in favor of a proposed foie gras ban in California. It is already illegal in several countries.

I have received some "constructive feedback" about my previous article on cicadas. Apparently, not everyone is finding it easy to "sit back and relax" while there are locust-like swarms of biblical proportions in their back yard.

• You can probably play your music as loud as you want.


• If you're a repairman, don't bend over.


• Kite-flying would be interesting.


• When venturing outside, use the "buddy system."


• Nudist camp membership fees in the mid-Atlantic region are greatly reduced.


• Indoor barbecue grills that fit over the stove work great — really.


• Walk softly and use a cicada relocation stick to move wayard travelers to a more suitable milleu:
  
  • Place end of stick flush with tips of cicada's feet.
  
  
  • Let cicada grab onto the stick.
  
  
  • Lift stick, with attached cicada, to shoulder-height. Cicada will maintain his grip.
  
  
  • With cicada in an upright position, flick the stick. The passenger will fly off.
    

If I may be serious for a minute...

We're the more powerful party here. We can use our privileged position to squash the insects or to be responsible, benign stewards. When we airlift a cicada out of the bottom of a garbage can, the creature is entirely dependent on our goodwill. Just because he may not grasp the concept of trust doesn't mean we can't be deserving of it. In the grand scheme of things, helping one cicada find a nearby tree isn't much. But to that cicada it perhaps means the world. I wouldn't rule out the possibility that at some primitive level he's grateful.

During their short time above ground, each day is like two years to a cicada. Let them make the most of their brief excursion. Soon the next generation will be safely ensconced in Mother Earth, waiting to make their arrival 17 years from now. Let's try to keep the place in good shape until then.

Testing cosmetic products on animals is notoriously inaccurate and not required by law. "Cruelty-free" alternatives are just as safe if not safer, since they are more likely to use natural, mild ingredients. In a product-testing lab, rabbits are put in metal restraining devices while caustic chemicals are poured into their eyes or rubbed into their shaved skin. The rabbits experience pain and suffering, and are killed afterward. Non-lethal methodologies using human tissue have been around for years; they're more predictive, cheaper, quicker, and easier to reproduce. Make the humane choice: only buy personal-care and household items that were not tested on animals.

The following article provides a brief historical perspective and easy-to-read summary of animal testing issues: Blinding Rabbits for Beauty.

For a complete list of companies that do and do not test on animals, see http://www.aavs.org/testing.html.

Here's one company, The Body Shop, that has taken a particularly eloquent stand against animal testing of cosmetic products. Read what they have to say about it here.

Note that some retailers, notably Whole Foods, only sell products in this category that are free of animal-derived ingredients and that are from suppliers that do not test on animals.

The Rev. Lou Sheldon and the Traditional Values Coalition had been warning me for years that families would crumble once gays were allowed to marry. Foolishly, I thought it couldn't happen to me.

Well, wouldn't you know it. As soon they started handing out marriage licenses to gay couples, my wife left me. I thought things were going great, but the Massachusetts situation (or "D-Day," as Rev. Sheldon calls it) got cranked up and bam! — she was out the door. I hope all you gays with your "homosexual agenda" are happy now. Looks like Rev. Sheldon hit the nail right on the head on this issue.

It takes over 280 gallons of oil to raise one steer. The same amount of calories — or protein, for that matter — from plant sources uses only a small fraction of that energy. If everyone went vegan one day a week, there would be no discussion about drilling in pristine wilderness areas. If we went vegan two days a week, we'd virtually wipe out our dependence on Mideast oil. In addition, the decrease in water pollution would be dramatic, since animal agriculture is a major source of runoff into streams and groundwater. The reduction in animal suffering would be incalculable.

Not everyone can telecommute or trade in their vehicles for a hybrid model, but all meat-eaters can do without for a couple days a week. Becoming partly vegetarian requires very little effort.

Such easy solutions, and we choose to ignore them...

Open letter to Alanis Morissette.

Dear Ms. Morissette:

In response to a Newsweek reporter's remark that you have "more girl clothes," you answered "Yeah, honey, fur, and diamonds."

There is nothing at all feminine about being an accomplice to the brutal killing of an innocent creature.

You once stated that you prefer truth to form. The truth about your fur is that you stole it from animals that were born in it and depended on it for life. If the animals were raised in a "fur ranch," they were deprived of everything important to them, and anally electrocuted. If the animals were trapped, they struggled violently to be free, while in pain, until they finally succumbed or were beaten to death by the trapper.

My hope is that with your "bravest heart," you will regret having done this, donate the fur to a homeless shelter or wildlife rehabilitation center, and counsel others (like Beyonce) to go fur-free. In this way you could help instead of hurt animals.

Claws certainly serve cats well. Cats use their claws to hoist themselves up to the next level of their cat tree. They use claws to snag flying toys out of the air. Cats spread their claws like rakes when digging in the litter. Newborn kittens extend their claws to knead their mother's fur and signal that everything's all right. Cats even walk on their claws.

But claws have more than utilitarian value. Cats are tactile creatures, and claws are one of their main interfaces to the world. When they come across a novel object, they cautiously give it a jab with their claws. In the middle of a major petting session, they may give their human a "love scrape" with claws just barely exposed. Of course, nothing beats a good scratch; kitty digs those claws deep into the sisal, carpet, or carboard substrate and pulls against their resistance. Watch a cat scratching; you can tell it's a satisfying workout.

All of the aforementioned activities help make above a cat's life more enjoyable, and claws play a prominent role in each one. Keep in mind that whenever a cat uses his claws, he does so intentionally. Thousands of times over his life, a cat makes an affirmative decision to take advantage of his claws.

So don't declaw your cat! Let him reap the multiple benefits of these marvelously crafted tools. If need be, you can clip his nails; lots of books, web sites, and veterinarians can show you how. Make sure you give your cat sufficient scratching posts and pads. Locate them in convenient places and provide a mix of scratching surfaces. At least one post should be tall and sturdy, to enable a full-length vertical scratch. Carboard scratchers are cheap but cats love them; buy three, they're a bargain. Praise your cat when he uses one of his posts. Clap your hands or stealthily use a squirt-gun when he scratches out of bounds. You can cover the couch during the training period. Avoid encouraging inappropriate scratching, by using toys instead of your hands for playing.

Despite what you may have heard, it's not hard to train a cat to use his furniture instead of yours for scratching. At the animal shelter where I volunteer, we make sure that all adopters are well aware of why cats need their claws, and are ready, willing, and able to accomodate them. The feedback is consistently positive. A cat with claws is less defensive, more confident, and less likely to develop persistent litter box problems (raking the litter with stubbed toes instead of claws can be painful, and the cat may avoid the litter box as a result).

Claws are a big deal to a cat. Your cat derives enormous physical and psychological benefits from his claws. Don't deny him that. Entire continents get by without declawing; so can you.

For information on cat-friendly ways to manage claws, visit www.de-clawing.com, or The Paw Project.

By the way, nearly all the comments above apply to "big cats," also.

The other day I heard two World War Two veterans conversing. One told the other that he and his wife were being flown to France, to be honored for bravery in the D-Day invasion at Normandy. The French government was paying all expenses for the hundreds of ex-soldiers that were to be in the ceremony.

The two vets, now probably in their 80s, with stooped shoulders and hearing aids, lamented that it took nearly 60 years to build a monument to commemorate the enormous effort and sacrifice of those who served during the Second World War. Many have already died; 1100 a day are lost to old age.

There was much bickering around town during the planning of the WWII memorial. Editorials and letters to the editor expressed strong opinions, pro and con. There were fears that the national mall between the Lincoln Memorial and The Capitol was becoming too crowded, and that one more structure would encroach too far on the steadily-shrinking green space.

Those are valid concerns. We can have that debate after we build a memorial to remember the brave men and women who helped keep the world free. They earned it. General MacArthur said that old soldiers just fade away. Let's not let that happen.

This column is mostly about animals, and no one would mistake me for a war hawk. But what these individuals did was truly inspiring, and they deserve our gratitude.

[A group of soldiers stationed in Iraq stabbed a small kitten with a knife and cut off its head while it was fully conscious. They forced the kitten's head into a Clorox bottle and took pictures of themselves laughing and posing with the severed head.]

Dear God,

Please forgive those who defiled Your Creation, and fill their hearts with mercy.

Please teach us how to achieve lasting peace; war turns us into monsters.

Please welcome your newest arrival into the Kindgom of Heaven. Give her wide open fields in which to run, and lots of toys to play with. Let her tumble and chase and nap with the other cats. Let her experience the sheer delight of being a little kitten. May she never feel harm or hate, just the warm touch of the hand of God.

Last week I read a story about two racehorse owners who intentionally withheld veterinary care so that the horse would go blind and they could collect the insurance payout.

So often, in animal cruelty cases, money plays a central role. People subject animals to the most horrid conditions in order to make a little more profit. We see this in factory farms, puppy mills, circuses, fur ranches, roadside zoos, and other places.

It makes you wonder, perhaps the Bible had it right the whole time: the difficulty of a wealthy man getting to heaven, greed considered a deadly sin, and that famous saying about love of money. I don't know that love of money is the root cause of evil, but it is a cause of evil. It's addictive. It corrupts. It makes people selfish and insensitive to the suffering of others.

The Bible is full of cautions against desiring wealth. Yet this part of the book seems to be largely ignored. Perhaps it's inconvenient.

(Better Than Football)

I know George Will gets carried away with his meanderings about baseball and the meaning of life, but there is something pristine about that diamond. The nicest-looking football field is still basically nothing more than a large ruler. Boring and boxy. Baseball has that grand expansion from home plate to the outfield wall.

The "game within a game" between the pitcher and the batter is unique in sports. Each pitch is deliberate, intended to fool or overpower the batter, who has to guess if the next offering will be a furious fastball or crafty curve. The batter may let a few pitches go by, or foul off ten in a row. But when bat and ball collide at the perfect moment, you get that majestic trajectory, a home run ball sailing out of the park. Plus there's that classic "crack" sound. In football you mostly hear grunts and pads crashing. I like monster truck competition as much as the next guy, but not for three hours.

The pace of a baseball game is perfectly suited for a summer afternoon. Rather leisurely between pitches and innings, interspersed with lightning-fast action: double plays, stolen bases, sliding doubles. It's this optimum blend of relaxation and excitement that allows baseball to have seasons with 162 games, by far the most of any major sport.

Don't get me wrong. I'm from Florida, where we take our football seriously, as Burt Reynolds observed in "The Longest Yard." I still like the game. It has its share of grace, drama, strategy, genuine heroes, and great moments. But it's basically two armies marching downfield. First one way, than the other. Full-contact chess. Baseball has an interesting mix of angles that Frank Lloyd Wright could have designed.

Watching a football game is exciting but detached. The stadium tends to be huge. You need binoculars. The action is far away and never in one spot for very long. The men are obscured by helmets and padding. Before and agter the game, and at halftime, they disappear. Watching a baseball game is more personal. You have time to study your favorite players in their familiar positions. The centerfielder in the grass, waiting for a fly ball — just like us when we were kids. Young fans bring their gloves, hoping to catch a souvenir out of the sky. Seats near ground level may bring you within a few feet of a spectacular defensive play. If you come to the ballpark early, you can watch batting practice and get autographs. "Field of Dreams" vs. "Any Given Sunday."

Baseball helped the country stay sane during two world wars. Our grandfathers read the papers to see how their teams did the night before. Babe Ruth and Jackie Robinson are part of the fabric of America. So is baseball itself. It's fitting that after 9/11, it was the New York Mets that helped restore a sense of normalcy. Football is Britney Spears and Janet Jackson; baseball's more Mom and apple pie. Not as flashy, but more durable. I could go on, but I've got two tickets for Camden Yards, Eutaw Street section. Looks like a glorious day for baseball.

If determined to do so, you can find permission in the Bible for all sorts of atrocities, including owning slaves and killing your neighbor. The Bible is not meant to be treated as a legal document, where we base our actions on Paragraph 3, Subpart J. You can examine a single note, but you have to stand back to hear the melody, the overall theme. Love thy neighbor. Practice the Golden Rule. Be merciful. Love God, love His Creation. "They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain..."

"Men have forgotten this truth,
but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible, forever,
for what you have tamed."

-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, The Little Prince

This quote appears on the home page of www.animalkind.org, an organization working steadfastly, compassionately, and innovatively to promote spaying and neutering of adoptable animals in the Triangle area of North Carolina.

In the last two weeks there have been at least 15 stories in the Washington Post about the cicadas, telling us to NOT PANIC. Residents of DC are on high alert. No one's sure what to expect. One of my neighbors bought duct tape. Despite daily assurances ("Cicadas Not As Deadly as Feared"), there's a sense of impending doom. It's as if a comet is bearing down on us.

This reminds me of when there are snow flurries. Regular programming is cancelled and replaced by "StormWatch," which issues dire warnings every five minutes, but more frequently as the storm nears. People stock up on toilet paper and drive like idiots. Everything in a one hundred-mile radius of the city is cancelled. Total snow accumulation: zero.

One article said that wedding planners are receiving worried phone calls from couples planning outdoor receptions. This one I don't get. It's not like there's a chance of cicadas.

I welcome the little guys. They've been underground for 17 years; let them have their fun for a few weeks. They're totally harmless and fly about one mile an hour. If a cicada lands on you, give him a little flick and wish him godspeed. By the way, I love the number they chose: 17. Most insects can't count past three.

The arrival of the cicadas is an opportunity to watch a unique wonder of nature with your kids. You can discuss the cicadas' life cycle and habits. Explain that cicadas, like everything else, have a place in the world. Open the windows and listen to the cicadas' morning and evening song - it's quite a cacophony.

Sit back and enjoy this summer of the cicadas. Before you know it, it will be over.

A recent fur-storage ad promises to give owners' fur coats a long happy life.

I realize that the possible comebacks here are obvious.

The way to ensure that a fur coat enjoys a long happy life is to not kill its original owner. Each animal's fur coat is custom-made and a perfect fit. The animal depends on it for survival, and looks marvelous in it.

If you're dying for a fur coat, don't make animals die so you can steal theirs. Buy a luxurious faux-fur garment, and everyone will be happy.

The "Panic Mouse" was voted Best New Cat Toy of 2003 by, um, some group, perhaps the National Associaton of Cat Toy Reviewers (which may be a panel of discerning cats).

It's a great toy, even though it requires batteries. The base of the apparatus looks like a super-sized yellow alien mouse. It's a little scary, although apparently not to cats. Attached to the base is a wand, and dangling from the wand is a faux-fur mouse (of earthly proportions). The wand moves randomly in a zig-zag pattern. The unpredictable motion hold's the cat's interest, and invites lots of batting, grabbing, and biting.

The Panic Mouse might be a perfect fit in a house with a kitten. Kittens have a nearly insatiable appetite for play. (A big reason animal shelters often recommend adopting a pair of kittens is that each can keep up with the other). Even the most energetic human needs some downtime. Start up the Panic Mouse while you're doing the dishes or watching sports on TV to keep the little ball of energy engaged. I'd turn the toy off after a while, to keep it fresh.

Don't over-rely on the Panic Mouse as a mechanical babysitter. Nothing beats a skilled human when it comes to making play interesting. You have the ability to react to your cat in real time, to optimize the play experience. With a little imagination and know-how, you can make any toy, including a wad of paper, act like prey that's crafty and quick - but no match for the superior hunter.

Now, here's the best part. Inside the Panic Mouse packaging is a little piece of paper that assures the owner that no real fur is used, and states the company policy: an emphatic rejection of animal fur in any product. That's reason enough to go out and buy the toy.

Remember, if your cat (being a cat) simply walks away from the Panic Mouse, after you've carefully assembled it, you can always find a shelter or a friend who will get good use out of it.

---

For more information: http://www.panicmouseinc.com.

Bonus: Buy your cat some "Cosmic Catnip" scratching pads, many of which come with a promotion for the Paw Project.

Fifty thousand years ago a caveperson noticed that his dog came to him when he whistled, even if he didn't always follow up with a treat. A million years before that we realized that we could influence children and subordinates simply by giving signals that sometimes preceded reward or punishment.

Along comes Pavlov, who sets up a crude facsimile of this everyday behavior, comes up with the same conclusions as the rest of the world, and is treated like a genius.

He didn't reveal anything new. When we see lightning we brace for thunder. If the school bell rings five minutes early, students rush out without checking the clock. An air raid siren invokes fear and panic even when way out of context. This is basic human nature and we've always known it. Yes, we do have a Pavlovian response - to animal studies that purport to shed light on human behavior.

Of course, real life is more complicated than the laboratory. For example, a person may be well aware that he or she is reacting to a sound no longer associated with a reward. (Which reminds me, in human studies the volunteers can tell you what they're thinking.) Some individuals may resist responding to a stimulus because they're contrarians, absentminded, or distrustful of authority. Dog or monkey experiments are not the best means to elucidate these variations in our own species.

There is a way that we can learn a lot about ourselves from dogs, cats, and other animals: adopt one.

"..the learned cultural habit of eating animal products can fairly easily be unlearned if one desires to do so."

-- John Mackey, Whole Foods CEO

Comment that appeared in the May 5, 2004 Vegan Outreach newsletter:

While leafleting, a person asked, "Just give me one good reason why I should go vegetarian. Just one." I replied, "There would be less suffering in the world." "That's a good reason," he said, taking a Why Vegan. "I'll look this over."

Do you cohabit with a rabbit? Do you live in central California? Then plan to go to BunnyFest 2004!

Meet adobtable rabbits. Get the latest poop on bunny health management techniques. Swap stories about Mr. Destructo and Her Royal Bunship Lady Hopkins with others who understand. Help the Humane Society of Silicon Valley.

When:  Sunday May 16, 2004, from 1pm to 4pm
Where: Emma Prusch Regional Park, 647 South King Road, San Jose 95116.

There will be several vendors at the event, including For Other Living Things, which just went fur-free. Be sure to stop by their booth and thank them.

Problems with the Atkins Diet:

• The distinction between oranges and donuts has been lost. It's all just "carbs" now.
  
• People forget that donuts are high fat.
  
• Food for thought: the world's thinnest people that get adequate calories are the ones that eat the most carbs. So much for the Atkins theory.
  
• Vegeterians are thin and healthy compared to the rest of the population. Atkins excludes vegetarianism.
  
• We're not cats; our bodies aren't designed to take in so much protein.
  
• Yes, a bacon cheesburger will fill you up. By that time you've ingested enough saturated fat to clog a firehose.
  
• You should worry about any diet that requires you to take a fiber pill.
  
• From an animal welfare and ecological standpoint, Atkins is a nightmare.
  

Good things about the Atkins Diet:

• It reminds us that candy corn and soda are not healthy. (Unfortunately it replaces those foods with Cheese Whiz and jerky.)
  
• Some people do eat less, at least for a while. The main reason is not that they're on the Atkins diet. The main reason is that they're on a diet.
  
• If you look closely, the Atkins diet now includes tofu.
  

I wonder how many big tofu eaters are on Atkins. But I digress. Seriously, if you have friends or loved ones on Atkins, they're probably not going to appreciate you trying to talk them out of it, especially if they're losing weight. Introduce them to veggie versions of bacon, sausage, turkey slices, chicken nuggets, and meatloaf. These non-meat alternatives are surprisingly good and getting better all the time. Low net carbs with considerably less animal suffering.

President Bush wants us to have "a greater understanding about the value and wonder of life." Ex-Bush White House communications director Karen Hughes calls for policies that "value the dignity and worth of every life."

This is the same president who remarked that what we need more of is rabbit hunters. His vice president likes to shoot tame birds as they fly out of their cages.

"God put the animals on earth for us to use them however we want."

No. God is not a mean sadist. God is Love.