Animal Writings

If the dog has to be pushed off the life raft, does that mean we should get rid of all our dogs?

All that money going to dog food and chew toys should be used to eradicate human disease, right?

Lots of people who think it's okay to kill dogs in order to save children spend considerable money on their own dog. The dog eats well, gets excellent veterinary care, and has a comfy bed. If the dog becomes seriously ill, the medical bill may run into the thousands. How many vaccines for children in Africa could that buy?

What about our TV sets? Maybe we should sell them and give the money to the American Cancer Society so they can cure another form of mouse cancer. There's nothing wrong with a nice hi-def TV, but if we're truly on a sinking life raft, shouldn't those be thrown overboard?

Maybe we're not on a life raft, or maybe the "child or dog" rules only apply to some dogs and some children.

Rush Limbaugh is an arch-conservative, Al Franken is a liberal. Each one takes pride in his political philosophy and considers it to be distinctly superior to the other's. I'm not impressed. They both contribute to the suffering of animals in the same way: with selfish abandon.

I'm most disappointed in Franken. He portrays himself to be a friend of the little guy, and complains that the right wing ignores the less powerful and those in need. But Franken is no friend to animals, and he ignores their screams and suffering in the factory farms. He enjoys the taste of their flesh and has no reservations about supporting cruelty. If liberal means being compassionate, he's no liberal.

Franken takes Limbaugh to task for being ignorant about the environment and misstating the views of those on the left. That pontificating stuff is easy. Giving up something you like because it requires mass misery and killing to produce - that's more difficult but has real impact.

Al Franken says he enjoys his sausage. The sausage came from a living animal, a pig. The pig was born with boundless energy and playfulness, but was locked in a cage. The young pig surely wondered why he couldn't go out and explore the world, run in the dirt, roll in the mud, and play in the straw. He bit on the cage bars trying unsuccessfully to break out. Each day for the pig was monotonously the same: confined, nothing to do, deprived of the things he desired. Eventually he lost hope and quit trying to escape from his metal and concrete enclosure. As Matthew Scully, a conservative, describes in his book "Dominion," the adult pigs in factory farms become bloated, soulless masses, their legs covered with ulcers from standing all day, their personalities completely submerged. They have no life left in them. "It is not the worst thing we can do, but it is the worst thing we can do to them," he says.

Pigs are intelligent and emotional creatures, and it's a safe bet that their pain in factory farm environments goes far beyond physical. But Franken and Limbaugh don't care. Neither of these incessant moralizers wants to give up his ham sandwich.

No, Franken is not as different from Limbaugh as he would like to think. Just ask the poor pig dying for the pair's shared sin of gluttony.

For 50 thousand dollars you may be able to have your cat cloned. Don't do it. With that amount of money you could save 50 cats at your local animal shelter. What a wonderful memorial to a beloved cat who has passed on: enabling other cats to live.

Cloning is indulgent. The clone will not be a carbon copy of the original. Environmental, lifestyle, and random factors will see to that. In fact, the clone may be under unfair pressure to act like the original cat.

Each cat is unique. Enjoy and embrace this diversity; don't try to suppress it.

You may have seen cute pictures of "CC," the cloned cat, on the cover of magazines and newpapers. What you didn't see were the 72 failures that preceded CC. Deformed cats that died young. But in the competitive worlds of science and cloning services, a few wasted lives don't matter.

Rather than displace a cat at the shelter, give one or more a second chance. Instead of cloning, multiply your compassion by adopting, or by sponsoring a shelter cat. Your cat at The Bridge would surely approve.

The idea of trying to model human behavior with non-humans is absurd.

All animal-modeled research is suspect and suffers from inherent flaws, but behavioral experiments are the worst. The data is highly contrived, the animals are badly mistreated, and practicing psychologists almost universally ignore the results.

We learn about humans by studying humans. We have enough volunteers, clinical observations, and sophisticated monitoring technologies to peer deeply into every facet of human behavior. There is no scientific or ethical reason to jolt cats, dogs, and mice with electronic shocks, or to see how long an animal will swim before giving up and drowning. Yet researchers continue these sadistic, scientifically vacuous exercises decade after decade.

What's more, the purveryors of this fradulent psuedoscience - the ones who get the money and publishing credits - have the audacity to tell us that what they're doing is relevant, even insightful. Harlow's famous monkey experiments didn't teach us anything. We've known for thousands of years that babies crave to be held and need their mothers, and that when deprived of these necessities they grow up troubled if not deranged. The empirical evidence fills the jails and juvenile detention centers. But the monkey experimenters want the credit - not to mention your tax dollars.

Psychological experiments on animals should be abolished immediately. They're cruel and worthless.

Later today, I will join my extended family for our annual Easter get-together. It will be good to see everyone, catch up, comiserate about our commutes, and make jokes that seem funny at the time. After about an hour of milling around, dinner will be served. The main course will be ham. Everyone will gather around the table and thank the Lord for the gifts they are about to receive.

The pig who died was a gift. Her death was not. She was killed because people value the taste of her flesh over her right not to suffer. She lived most of her life in a cage not much bigger than her. She could barely move; there was not enough room to turn around. Her floor was concrete; she never felt the earth or sun.

She was unable to play and run around with her piglets. Because there was no straw, they had no nest. All she could do was provide them milk. The piglets, still babies, were removed less than halfway through their normal weaning period. The pig was re-impregnated. The piglets were soon slaughtered. The cycle went on continuously until the mother pig herself was killed.

But there will be no remorse around the table. People will talk about how yummy the ham looks, and be anxious to eat it. They will erroneously, selfishly thank God for the ham. But God did not give them a ham. He gave them a sentient being to take care of, to respect. We made one of God's creatures suffer. In fact, we delegated the suffering to someone else, so we could be spared the discomfort of seeing an intelligent, curious animal be denied everything important to her, and so we would not have to hear her final squeals as her life was brought to an abrubt end.

Easter is a celebration of eternal life. Yet in practice it's a celebration of killing. Jesus weeps on Easter. He was born and lived among the animals. He reminded us that God loves sparrows. He compared a hen's love for her chicks to God's love for us. He did not eat ham.

As we pray around the table before the feast, I will thank God for his mercy. I will ask Him to spread compassion throughout the world, so that all of His creatures may know peace. I will not thank God for the ham, but I will pray for the soul of the pig.

Copy of letter sent to the Gillette Company:

To Whom It May Concern:

I was just watching your commercial during the NCAA basketball tournament. It was a well-done montage of success; a mix of workaday achievment and heros (like Muhammad Ali) in action. Then I saw footage of a bullfight.

In the days before the event, the bull is fed strong laxatives that leave it weak. Heavy weights are placed on the bull's back, to worsen the pain.

In the arena, the matador repeatedly stabs the bull with swords, causing the bull to lose dangerous amounts of blood. Eventually the mighty animal, who never wanted to fight, succumbs, and falls to the ground.

While the bull is down and writhing in pain, the matador slices off one of the bull's ears with a knife.

Bullfighting is a profoundly cowardly and barbaric act. There is nothing remotely meritorious about it.

Two-thirds of the residents of Barcelona oppose bullfighting, and it is only a matter of time before it is banned.

I urge you to not promote or glamorize this cruelty.


* * *

Later in the tournament I saw the same spot, only this time it had no bullfighting. It's possible there were two versions of the ad, but I'd like to think that Gillette, one of the early adopters of a "no animal testing" policy, responded to viewer concerns or maybe even had a change of heart.

Which reminds me: thank companies that do the right thing.

Easter is a terrible time for rabbits. So many people think that a rabbit would make a cute present for their child or acccessory for the house. Unscrupulous breeders supply the rabbits and "only in it for the money" pet stores sell them, often to buyers who have no clue that a rabbit lives ten years and requires a substantial amount of care.

The rabbits in these situations tend to be neglected, abandoned, mistreated, or returned to already-overcrowded shelters where they are quickly put to sleep. Rabbits are not gifts, they are lives. They become unhealthy and depressed when they're relegated to a hutch in the garage. I mention the emotional aspect because rabbits are highly emotional animals. When they're happy, it's obvious. They have a bounce in their step, they're social, they're playful. Sometimes they even do dances. When they're sad, they become withdrawn, they don't feel like eating, they hang their heads down - sort of like people when they're unhappy. Often, the "mean rabbit" in the backyard cage turns into a regular snuggle bunny when given half a chance.

Rabbits are not low-maintenance pets and they're generally not a good match for small children. Children invariably try to pick up the rabbit; most rabbits don't like to be picked up. They might feel threatened and bite back to defend themselves.

The only reason to get a companion rabbit is to provide it with a nice, permanent home. If you're willing to provide your rabbit with a healthy diet, scoop her litter box twice a day (rabbits are easy to litter box train), protect your wires and furniture, and set up an accommodating environment for her, you will be richly rewarded. Rabbits are intelligent and brimming with personality. They will make you laugh. They'll brighten up down days by cozying up next to you and maybe giving you a few bunny kisses.

The best place to look for a rabbit is your local animal shelter or rescue group. Pretty soon they will have a supply of "previously owned" Easter bunnies. Consider adopting one of these guys. You'll save a life and gain a wonderful - actually, quite amazing - new friend.

On two adjoining pages of a recent issue of Vegetarian Times: an article explaining how chronic stress experienced by laboratory mice significantly compromises the data from experiments in which they're used, and a piece on nutrition that cites mouse studies as evidence.